The world is full of gatekeepers who receive satisfaction from controlling. The world is full of predators who want to eat your soul, and abusers who groom you by creating impossible situations, then selling you fake remedies.
"That's not the way it's done"
"Maybe people would listen to you if you weren't so strident/disrespectful/outspoken/aggressive/feminist/loud/effeminate"
"You need to be younger/skinnier/prettier/whiter-sounding/gender conforming if you want to be hired/married/successful"
"You're too ..."
"You're not enough ..."
can all be ways of saying "You make me feel uncomfortable".
Learn to listen to what's really being said, to know who is genuine and who is using you. Learn to recognize who is threatened by your difference.
Learn to look them in the eye and answer those controlling statements by saying, "I see that I make you uncomfortable because I like myself and I'm doing just fine." They will squirm, but you'll know the truth. You'll know that you aren't too much or not enough. You'll know that you are just fine, and that you will continue being fine. And once you know that, they can't touch you.