Recommendations. Everybody hates them. You hate having to ask for them, your references hate having to write them. So why are they required, and how can you be sure you get a good one?

Recommendation letters are a necessary evil. Leveraging a personal connection gives the best advantage when it comes to requesting opportunities, but when there is no connection between you and your goal, a letter of recommendation is your stand-in.   The point, of course, is to get a seal of approval from a recognized authority who knows you and your work well and is willing to promote you.  From the side of the organization requesting the recommendation, jumping through those hoops shows a few things: you’re together enough to fulfill the requirements of the application (it may seem silly, but many, many people are sloppy with applications); someone in authority is actually willing to recommend you; and they may offer important insight into your work or character.

In my last blog post, we discussed how to write a good letter of interest or personal statement. Much of the same advice applies here; but this time, you are asking someone else to write for you, and that’s a bit trickier. Here are some thoughts about how you can get the best recommendations.

1.       Decide: who is your audience?

No matter what you are creating, one of your very first considerations must be who you are creating it for. Your graduate recital? Sure, your friends and family will be there, but your primary audience is the jury of faculty members who are going to grade you --- that’s who you must impress. Your voice studio website? It’s primarily there for your clients and if you teach children, their parents who are, after all, paying the bills. A letter of recommendation? The director of the program you’re applying for, the supervisor of the job you want, the scholarship committee that awards the money you’re asking for.

How you address a letter of recommendation and what you ask to have included in it depends on who the decision-makers are and what will impress them.

Just as you do when writing a letter of interest, you will need to do some research before you ask for a recommendation from an authority.

Wait. Why do you have to do this research? You’re not the one writing the letter.

Ah, but you still have a job to do.

2.       Consider the opportunity you’re applying for.

Find out as much as you can about the opportunity you’re applying for before you gather your materials and request recommendations. If you win this scholarship, internship, or job, what will you be expected to do? Who has won these opportunities in the past --- what stands out about them and why do you think they were chosen?  The answers to these questions will help you understand what the committee is looking for and how you can impress them.

3.       Choose the right recommender.

When you’re young, you don’t work at traditional jobs, or you’ve been out of the musical loop for a while it can be tough to find anyone to recommend you, much less the right person! This is a great reason to casually stay in touch with your network, even if life is floating you further and further away from those people and experiences. A short email now and then asking how they’re doing and updating them on your progress should do the trick. What you don’t want is to contact someone you haven’t spoken to in a few years to ask them for a favor.

It’s a great idea to keep an inventory of people who might be able to recommend you for various opportunities—teachers, coaches, conductors, stage directors, program, school or opera company administrators, bosses, maybe even colleagues who have surpassed you professionally. You’re looking for authority figures; and if that authority figure has a connection to someone to whom you’re applying, all the better.

The ideal recommender is an authority figure in the field to which you’re applying, who also is a strong supporter of you, who knows your work well, and is enthusiastic about promoting you.

A lukewarm or impersonal recommendation does you no favors at all. Choose your recommenders carefully.

4.       Ask the right way.

Don’t wait until the last minute to request a recommendation (or any other kind of favor); or at the very least, don’t make a habit of it.

Don’t pounce on someone who is running out the door. Your need is not their emergency. Ask when they have time to speak in person or send an email.

Address the recommender politely. If you’re on a first-name basis, it’s fine to use the first name, but if you are requesting by email, don’t be overly casual. This is a business matter. Write “Dear So-and-So”. Don’t just start off without any address or, worse yet, “Hey, X.”

Rather than say “Will you recommend me for this?” ask, “Would you be able to recommend me for this opportunity?” Then tell them something about it. This part is important. You are asking your recommender to lend her reputation to your cause. She is vouching for you. By asking whether she will recommend you for this opportunity and providing context, you allow room for her to agree enthusiastically, or gently say, “I’m not ready to recommend you for this, but I would recommend you for XYZ.”

5.       Make it easy for someone to help you.

Your job, as the person asking the favor, is to make it as easy as possible for the recommender to help you. That means doing your homework and finding out as much as possible about the opportunity before you ask for help.

a.       Find out the name, title, and honorific (Mr., Ms. Mrs., Mx., Dr., etc.) of the person to whom the letter should be directed.

When you are writing any kind of business letter—and any formal request falls under this category—you must not be informal in your address. It doesn’t matter whether the letter is being delivered by the postman or email, the format should be formal. That means using the correct name and title of the correct person to whom the request is addressed, and providing it to your recommender, who should not have to do this homework for you or request that you do it yourself.

It is a waste of time to address letters asking for jobs, auditions, or scholarships “To Whom It May Concern.” From the get-go, you’ve lost, because you have demonstrated a lack of initiative. The only time it’s ok to address a letter to the “Scholarship Committee” is when the application specifies that as the addressee.

How do you find out the name and title of the person you should be addressing? Check out my previous article about writing letters of interest.

You’ll have to scroll through a lot of SEO nonsense to find it, but here are five ways to find the names you need.

Once you do get the name you need, be sure to get the title and honorific correct as well. Here’s a great resource from Gordon College about how to properly address various authority figures.

b.       Provide all the needed information and tools.

Once upon a time, letters of recommendation were actual letters, written or typed on paper, and sent via snail mail. If you run across an application that requires hard copies of your recommendations, be sure you deliver a properly stamped and addressed envelope to the person giving your recommendation.

Many letters of recommendation are submitted via email or website form. This is a blessing that makes it much easier for everybody involved. Sometimes, depending on the software involved, the form will even send automatic reminders and notifications if a promised recommendation has not been received. In this case, all you need to do is doublecheck that you’ve provided the correct email addresses to your recommender and/or the form, and make sure you’ve noted the correct deadlines. If you do need to personally remind your recommender, do it in a friendly, gentle way, acknowledging how busy they are and the favor they’re doing you.

6.       Ask for specifics.

Since you’ve done all your homework, you should have some specific suggestions for things the recommender might wish to mention in their letter. I recently received an excellent example of this from one of my Spotlight students, who asked for a recommendation for a scholarship. This student has stayed in touch via social media all year. He greeted me briefly but kindly and then got straight to the point with his request. He gave me some background on the scholarship and a link to the site where I could find out more about it if I wished. He then politely offered several suggestions for accomplishments I might like to mention, including a reminder of what he had done at Spotlight.

You might be concerned that suggesting what to say about them or reminding a recommender of their accomplishments would come across as cheeky. Not at all! When done respectfully, such suggestions are welcome and extremely helpful to a busy person who may receive many such requests in a season. Needless to say, if they request any additional information, respond promptly.

The point of including these specifics is to help you stand out from all the other applicants. Every single applicant will have recommenders who affirm that they are great singers, hard workers, and wonderful human beings. Terrific. Now, what else? Are you president of your school’s chapter of a music fraternity? Do you do volunteer work? Has your teacher sent five students to the same program you’re applying for? (Yes, that makes a difference.) How many roles did you learn and perform this year? Why do you deserve this opportunity above all others? You don’t need to list everything you ever did, but pick out three or four of the most impressive, tailored to the opportunity you are applying for.

7.       Say thank you.

Whether or not you get the opportunity, be sure to write a thank-you note immediately and follow up later with a brief note letting your recommender know the outcome and thanking them again for their help. Saying thank you is good manners, but it’s also a good business practice and many people neglect it. A simple acknowledgment of a favor goes a long way; it often ensures that the recommender will be willing to help you again in the future.

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